Artpop Challenge: G.U.Y.

"So, Kaidan. How is everything between you and Shepard?" Garrus asked, leaning back in his chair. "Same as always, Garrus. How's the relationship between you and your hand?" Kaidan countered, inappropriately. Garrus laughed, "Youre learning some bad habits. But I suppose its a price to pay if you're dating the commander. How do you humans do it anyway?"

Kaidan's expression was confused when hearing this question. "Do what?" Kaidan asked the turian, who answered "Maintain.... Order in the bedroom. With two men, no less." Paid an raised an eyebrow. "I was told that laying in missionary every time can cause an increase in scoliosis. Then again, you do switch don't you?" Kaidan was surprised being asked this by, of all people, Garrus.

"What a-are you going on about?" Kaidan asked. "When a male turian is, what do humans call it, bottoming, they show that the other turian who is male is the alpha of the bedroom. Of the relationship. Is that how it works with you?" Garrus asked and the biotic grew red to the ears, "So does he not only command the Normandy but command you as well?" The alien asked with a smirk.

Later on, Rev was reviewing the report to send to Hackett, then he heard the doors to the commander's cabin slide open and entering Kaidan. "Hey, just reviewing the report from ou-" Rev was silenced with a kiss, which instantly became deeper. Breaking off the kiss, Shepard was stopped from speaking when the other man lifted him onto the bed, and immediately pounced on him.

"Kaidan! Hold up!" Rev said, but the man was already stripping off their clothes. "You think you command our relationship?" Kaidan asked standing above him naked, blue with active biotic energy. "No. I don't." Rev answered, genuily scared and confused. "You....don't?" The black haired man asked as the color of blue faded away. "No. You have a better hold of our relationship. What's up with you?" Shepard asked.

Hours later, the doors to the med bay opened and walking in was a very badly bruised Garrus, limping to one of the beds. The lesson being that humans shouldn't take advice from a turian on turian sex for a relationship.

I'm going to wear the tie, want the power to leave you 
I'm aiming for full control of this love
Touch me, touch me, don't be sweet
Love me, love me, please retweet 
Let me the girl under you that makes you cry
I want to be that guy

Lyrics from G.U.Y. by Lady Gaga.